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Well, the gigolo's jumpin' salty Ain't no trade out on the streets Half past the unlucky And the hawk's a front row seat Dressed in full orchestration Stage door Johnny's got to pay And sent him home Talking 'bout the one that got away Well, could've been on Easy Street Could've been a wheel With irons in the fire And all them business deals But the last of the big time losers Shouted before he drove away I'll be right back as soon as I crack The one that got away The ambulance drivers, they don't give a shit They just want to get off work And the short stop And the victim already gone berserk And the shroud tailor measures him For a deep six holiday The stiff is froze, the case is closed On the one that got away Now Jim Crow's directing traffic With them cemetery blues With them peculiar looking trousers Them old Italian shoes And a wooden kimono was all ready To drop in San Francisco Bay But he's mumbling something All about the one that got away Costello was the champion At the St.Moritz Hotel And the best this side of Fairfax Reliable sources tell But his reputation is at large And he's at Ben Frank's every day Waiting for the one that got away He's got a snake skin sport shirt And he looks like Vincent Price With a little piece of chicken And he's carving off a slice But someone tipped her off She'll be doing a Houdini now any day She shook his hustle A Greyhound bus'll take the one that got away Andre is at the piano Behind the Ivar in the sewers With a buck a shot for pop tunes And a fin for guided tours He could've been in Casablanca He stood in line out there all day Now he's spilling whiskey And learning songs about a one that got away Well, I've lost my equilibrium And my car keys and my pride The tattoo parlor's warm And so I hustle there inside And the grinding of the buzz-saw "What you want that thing to say?" I says, "Just don't misspell her name Buddy, she's the one that got away"