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I got a job in Atlanta in a mall playing Santa Not because of any talent but because I was the only one the suit would fit Everybody shopping, little sticky kids were Hopping on my lap with their fingers in my beard I guess, they thought that I was really it She sat down on my lap and said to me "I'm twenty three and I need someone You look like someone who could Play with me stay with me, all day with me" 'Cause I'm in no man's land Can't seem to find a real man You know, I'm lookin' for a steel man She said, "I'm in no man's land" I'm gonna show you a real good time I'd gladly pay you double overtime She was beggin' to be mine But my job was on the line Should I stay or should I go Or I just didn't know? I left fifty kids standin' in line They were whining, they were crying And their mothers they were screaming In hysterics and I swear I never heard such profanity I dropped my suit on the floor They were trying to block the door They were calling her a whore They were driven to nativital insanity We drove away in her Mercedes Benz Dirty blond split ends in the breeze She said, "I want to put you under my tree You're just a little gift from me to me" 'Cause I'm in no man's land Can't seem to find a real man You know, I'm lookin' for a steel man She said, "I'm in no man's land" You know, I'm ready for a real good time I'd gladly pay you double overtime She had money all her life She wasn't lookin' to become my wife She said, "I hope you understand, I just want a night full of man, Sonny" She didn't notice I was thin With a delicate chin Nor the softness of my skin Nor the scent of my other personalities She didn't see through my disguises Didn't see it in my eyes She was in for a surprise when She discovered my emotional plurality She said "Come and lay down on the floor with me It's warmer here by the fire" She didn't know that there was more of me She'd have to learn to love all four of me 'Cause I'm in no man's land I'm lookin' for the real me If only I could feel me You know, I'm in no man's land Sometimes I gotta play me It's really hard to stay me Hey, I'm in no man's land I'm looking for the real me If only I could feel me You know, I'm in no man's land Sometimes I gotta play me It's really hard to stay me Oh, I'm in no man's land I'm looking for the real me If only I could feel me