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When I'm five I will wash my face me hands all by myself When I'm five I will chew and spit tabacco like my grandfather jones 'cause I'm only four and five is far away When I'm five I will read the magazines in mummy's drawer When I'm five I will walk behind the soldiers in the may day parade 'cause I'm only four and grown-ups walk too fast Yesterday was horrid day, 'cause raymond kicked my shin And mummy says if I am good, she'll let me go to school in august Daddy shouted loud at mummy and I dropped my toast at breakfast And I laughed when bonzo licked my face, because it tickled I wonder why my daddy cries and how I wish that I was nearly five When I'm five I will catch a butterfly and eat it and I won't be sick When I'm five I will jump in puddles, laugh in church and marry my mum And I'll let my daddy do the washing-up If I close one eye, the people on that side can't see me I get headaches in the morning and I rode on freddie's tricycle And everywhere was funny, when I ran down to the sweetshop Then I fell and bleeded-up my knee and everybody soppied me I saw a photograph of jesus and I asked him if he'd make me five I saw a photograph of jesus and I asked him if he'd make me five When I'm five When I'm five When I'm oah