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Good mornin', dearly beloved, we've gathered here today To watch two people we know make a big mistake They'll stand up at the alter and solemnly swear, "I do" They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new Her daddy's in the front row mutterin', "Oh no, here we go again We had a couple dates, now she's three months late And it's twenty buck a plate, I spent", Oh Good mornin' dearly beloved, I'd like to welcome y'all To see the side-effects of sex and alcohol Please, bow your heads and join me in a prayer for these two Who'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse As he's puttin' the ring on her, he's checkin' out the brides maids Thinkin' that he might take the maid of honor's, honor, oh Welcome, dearly beloved, we are here this afternoon To throw rice as these two drive down the road to ruin With cans tied to the bumper and a dragging muffler, too They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new So raise your glass and join me, here's to the bride and groom They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new