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Hi Original Bad Boy on the case, cover your face Came in the place blowed, and sprayed Puffy with Mase I laced the weed with insect repellent, better check the smelly Eminem starts with E, better check the spelling with a capital Somebody grab me a Snapple I got an aspirin capsule trapped in my adam's apple (Hurry up) Somebody dropped me on my head, and I was sure That my mother did it, but the bitch won't admit it was her I slit her stomach open with a scalpel when she was six months And said, "I'm ready now bitch, ain't you feelin' these kicks cunt?" The world ain't ready for me yet, I can tell I'll probably have a cell next to the furnace in hell I'm sicker than sperm cells with syphilis germs And I'm hotter than my dick is, when I piss and it burns I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach And vomit so much blood that your clothes stick to you from it (Yuck, yuck) Hit you in the head with a brick til' you plummet If y'all don't like me, you can suck my dick til' you numb it And all that gibberish you was spittin', you need to kill it 'Cause your style is like dyin' in my sleep, I don't feel it 'Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me? Ha? Is fuckin' crazy, hello, hi 'Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy, do you hear me? Is fuckin' crazy I'm ice grillin' you, starin' you down with a gremlin grin I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias To save me with in case I get chased by space aliens A brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium Than a maniac, Saudi Arabian A highly combustible head, spazmatic Strapped to a Kraftmatic adjustable bed Laid up in the hospital in critical condition I flat lined, jumped up and ran from the mortician High speed, IV full of Thai weed Lookin' Chinese, with my knees stuck together like Siamese Twins, joined at the groin like lesbians Uh, pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins I hope God forgives me for my sins, it probably all depends On if I keep on killin' my girlfriends 'Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me? Ha? Is fuckin' crazy, listen 'Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy, you hear me? Is fuckin' crazy Last night I O.D.'d on rush, mushrooms and dust And got rushed to the hospital to get my system flushed (Shucks) I'm an alcoholic and that's all I can say I call in to work, 'cause all I do is frolic and play I swallow grenades, and take about a bottle a day Of Tylenol 3, and talk about how violent I'll be Give me eleven Excederin my head'll spin Medicine'll get me revvin' like a 747 jet engine Scratched my balls til' I shredded skin "Doctor, check this rash, look how red it's been" "It's probably AIDS", forget it then I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows That don't even make sense, like dykes usin' dildos So reach in your billfolds, for ten ducats And pick up this Slim Shady shit that's on Rawkus Somethin', somethin', somethin', somethin', I get weeded My daughter scribbled over that rhyme I couldn't read it, damn