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One, two, turtles are blue Three, four, police are a bore Five, six, Trudi upped sticks Seven, eight, you got no mates Brimstone, treacle and you Break a leg, boy on the moon No more Tyneside's favorite son Jimmy Nail is number one Reading books by Nabokov School kids told you, 'Bugger off' So you sung about dread and fear You're a legal alien, dear While you were out saving trees Your accountant doubled his fees Five million down the drain Poor old teacher's got no brain So many crimes committed to wax Andy's hanging up his axe Copeland went on to equalize Sting's a bell boy in disguise