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The bartender's working on a late night shiftShe's bonka blonds and Bon aims on a midnight driftAnd the dance band's playing the same old slamI'm sinking whiskey and you're sipping fine wineI don't know what it is you're trying to proveWell it should be you but it's me who can hardly moveAnd I've got my reputation lying on the lineCome on babybe a good dog and help the blindWon't you carry me home(Like a truckpick me up)You ain't no lady but you've sure got taste in menThat head of yours has got you by time and time againMy arms and legs are aching and my head's about to blowAnd your back's been breakin' and I'd hate to spoil the showBut I've just spent next weeks wages and I'm right out of coinBut you want more and it's half past fourand they want to close the jointBut we can't afford a taxi and it's too late for the busBut I've been told by friends of mine you're someone I can trustWon't you carry me home(Don't let me lie here in all this beer)You drank all your booze and half of mineI'm bleary eyed and you're waiting for the sunshine(to come and kill me)Just like the man who threw me on the floorDon't matterwhile I'm down here I might as well tryand find the fucking doorExcuse mehave you seen my swizzle stickAnd have you got a plastic bag 'cause I'm gonna be sickI'm dead drunk and heave'n hanging upside downAnd you're getting up and leavingyou think I'm gonna drownWon't you carry me home