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As I went out one morning To breathe the air around Tom Paines I spied the fairest damsel That ever did walk in chains I offered her my hand She took me by the arm I knew that very instant She meant to do me harm "Depart from me this moment" I told her with my voice Said she, "But I don't wish to" Said I, "But you have no choice" "I beg you sir", she pleaded From the corners of her mouth "I will secretly accept you And together we'll fly south" Just then Tom Paine himself Came running from across the field Shouting at this lovely girl And commanding her to yield And as she was letting go her grip Up Tom Paine did run "I'm sorry sir", he said to me "I'm sorry for what she's done"