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Raised to be a lady by the golden rule Alice was the spawn of a public school With a double barrel name in the back of her brain And a simple case of 'Mummy-doesn't-love-me' blues Reality, it seems was just a dream She couldn't get it on with the boys on the scene But what do you expect from a chick who's just sixteen And hey, hey, hey, you know what I mean All the young girls love Alice "Tender, young Alice", they say Come over and see me Come over and please me Alice, it's my turn today All the young girls love Alice "Tender, young Alice", they say If I give you my number Will you promise to call me? Wait till my husband's away Poor little darling with a chip out of her heart It's like acting in a movie when you got the wrong part Getting your kicks in another girl's bed And it was only last Tuesday, oh, they found you in the subway dead And who could you call our friends down in Soho One or two middle-aged dykes in a Go-Go And what do you expect from a sixteen year old yo-yo And hey, hey, hey, oh, don't you know? All the young girls love Alice "Tender, young Alice", they'd say Come over and see me Come over and please me Alice, it's my turn today All the young girls love Alice "Tender, young Alice", they'd say If I give you my number Will you promise to call me? Wait till my husband's away