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The High Plains Drifter, and I'm the drifter ('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) The High Plains Drifter, and I'm the drifter ('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) They can't catch me they're never gonna find me ('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter Pulled over to the river to take a rest Pulled out a pair of pliers, pulled the bullet out of my chest Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track I reached behind the seat and snatched a Kool from the pack A long distance from my girl, and I'm talking on the cellular She said that she was sorry and I said "yeah, the hell you were" Check my rear view mirror, check the gold tooth display Check out the odometer and I was on my way 'Cause I'm the High Plains Drifter, the best that you can get A strapped shoplifter, a pirate on cassette ('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed Don't step to me or you're gonna get mushed ('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) I'm doing 120 plowing over mail boxes Radar detector to tell me where the cops is Spend another night at the Motel 6 It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks And then I concoct a Black and Tan in my brandy snifter I'm a kleptomaniac, K-Mart shoplifter Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob I left my car outside, and the engine still revvin' Taking care of business at 7-eleven And then I went inside to make my withdrawal I saw what he had had, but I had to take it all Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price So I clocked him off the turban with a bag of ice Cause I'm mell-el-o like jell-el-o, cool like lemonade I made my getaway and then I thought that I had it made I feel like Steve McQueen, a former movie star Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap I couldn't help to notice I was caught in a speed trap Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry, on the run from Dirty Harry Stash the cash in the dash, but my gun I did carry I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right The cop knocked on my window, said "Boy, where's the fire? You've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire" "Outta the car longhair, your goose is cooked" Read me my rights, fingerprinted, and booked Makin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry ('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) Every dog will have its day, mine will be in front of a jury I'm the High Plains Drifter you know that I'm never in a hurry ('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) Read me my rights, as if I didn't know this Threw me in the tank with a drunk called Otis With his five o' clock shadow, he smelled of three day old beer My man turned to me and said "Why are you here"? I said I'm charming, I'm dashing, I'm rental car bashing I'm phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing I went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D He said "You behave son or we'll throw away the key" Houdini'd out the cuffs, I kicked the screw in the knee I took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to OTB I had a good feeling, easy come, easy go I bet on one horse to win and another to show And sure enough that nag came in Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win And then I broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger Hot wired, hot wheeled, and Suzy is a headbanger