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Walter Westinghouse went to town He found a friend today His friend was peeling ceiling wax as He heard Walter say Love me tender, love me sweet Love me like I love my feet Sit me down with Ezra Pound But don't forget to eat Or cause a country boy to cook A carrot or a cake But don't forget the feelings Of a friend are hard to fake He lives a life of April leaves Respondent to the thought that Often things you caught or bought Were not the ones you sought Now his December is a sender Singing songs he knows But all the words are cheese and please And boy, I hope it snows He buys the bacon and the achin' In his heart is due To overcoats and Quaker Oats And if his wife should sue Wanda, Wanda where you went and Tell me what'd you take? I took the tongue of Philip Jung And left it in the lake But my dear I think I fear That you had lost your way 'Cause scrambled eggs, 'cause scrambled eggs Were all he'd let me bake He said, "Your trust is like a crust Too brittle and too thin" I said, You're full of nigger nuts And look like Rin Tin Tin Is common ground not ever found But flees from dad to son Or is it just believing that the Evening steals the sun? I said, Your snoot is full of poot And should be in a shoe And then I said your stupid bed Is better off than you Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Huh, what's that, dear? Huh? Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Yes, eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell Eat exuding oinks upon And bleed decrepit broken bones At caustic spells of hell And he sees the threads of worn out treads And calls his color true and calls his color true And calls his color true and calls his color true And calls his color true and calls his color true And calls his color true and calls his color true