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"Can I Bitch"
[in a high falsetto voice]
Uncle Marshall!
Will you tell us a bedtime story?
[regular voice]
Here we go...
Now once upon a time not long ago
There was a little rapper about to blow
But his album came and it was not good
I think it went lead or double copper wood
So the silly little fans they were mislead
By a nerdy internet computer hip-hop head
"Me and you, 'Clef, we're gonna make some cash
Grab the silver paint and let's paint my ass"
Hey mister, would ya care to bare witness to
The ass-whippin' I'm about to administer
To this ass-kissin' little vaginal blister
Stanabis, little Marshall Mathers' sister
And in this corner, we have the mister
Not havin' it, it's the mad sinister
Dr. Evil with his bag of tricks for
this little antagonist faggot dick-suckinEx-LL Cool J fan from Windsor
I'm 'bout to murder little Kenny fag Keniff-sta
You bastard I ain't wanna have to diss ya
Canabis, where the fuck you at? I miss ya!
[Chorus]
Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch
Where for art thou Can-i-bitch?
Please tell me what happened with
That style that you were rappin' with
Can-i-bitch, oh Can-i-bitch
Are you from Los Angeles
New York or just a janitor
From Canada? Oh Can-i-bitch
Now at first I ain't really understand the shit
Picture me for a second and imagine it
Chillin' in the Bat-Mansion and relaxinWhen all a sudden some bullshit comes across the scanners
It's Can-i-bitch on some "Stan Lives" shit
It creeped me out at first. Man this is sick
For me, being just a sick, this conflict
Gets my dick harder than arithmetic
And I know how you jealous ones envy
I shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent me
The first two letters you were tellin' me shit
Like you respect me, like any other regular MC
The third letter you ask how come I ain't return
None of the messages at Shady Records you left me
The fourth letter: "Slim, you really startin' to upset me!"
The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get me
The sixth letter there's a bomb threat in our building
This crazy motherfucker's really tryin' to kill me!
So I went back and read the first few letters that said
Some shit about a message you left
Oh shit, that's not an "E" that's an "A"
This dude wants to leave me a "massage," he's gay!!
Right away I'm on the phone with Dr. Dre
We got a bogey! (Marshall I'm on the way)
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